The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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