I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
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You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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