I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize