Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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