so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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