I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
not ubering you a puppy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
