The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she looked like the before picture.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
