Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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