Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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