He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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