I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
