you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
