Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
