Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize