Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
