Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize