He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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