it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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