So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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