If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
