I'm drive I can fine osifer
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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