so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
