So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
