We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
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The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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