I showed him my bush... on skype.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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