The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
