his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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