we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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