I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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