About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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