it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
