I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
