She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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