i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Im part way to drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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