He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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