And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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