just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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