After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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