I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
