My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
