if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
