she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
