I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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