I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
