she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
