I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Less talking, more tequila
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize