Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
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No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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