I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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