If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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