I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just fell off a train. Bad.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize