I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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