I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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