will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize