What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize