Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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