just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
