one might say we're banned from that church
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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