How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
