Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
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The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize