Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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