all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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