This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
