Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
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