protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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