brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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