so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
