and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
